Olympic Village Life Would Be Awesome

I have always wanted to stay in the Olympic Village.

Not because it would mean that I would be one of the world's peak athletes living and mingling with more of the world's peak athletes while we competed at the pinnacle of amateur sports, no.
I've always wanted to stay in the Olympic Village because of the crazy-ass partying that probably goes on. I may not be a world-class athlete but I am a world-class partier. I can hang with the best of them, holmes.

Did you hear about the Village of the 2000 Summer Games? Only one of the most fantastical parties that was ever partied in the history of partying.
I have a journalist friend who covered the Games that year and he described it as a 336-hour rave. "If you multiplied Burning Man by the square root of a Roman orgy, you'd have Sydney," he said.

I deeply regret I missed it.

Beyond the feting, think of all the beautiful snatch that would be flitting around.

I don't know about you all, but I loves me some foreign ladies. I would totally be chasing after one or two of the Polish volleyball players. I saw a Chinese badminton player that was super-cute in her outfit. There was an Italian diver I couldn't stop watching spin and twirl. And I would probably try to date the entire Norwegian handball team...at the same time.
Two pole vaulters, a Russian and an American, were exchanging harsh words. I would like to try and broker a peace deal between the two in my bathtub.

By the time the Olympics were over my junk would see more representatives from different countries than the United Nations. I'd even rename it Kofi Annan (which, trust me, is ten times better than its current moniker).

I'd get no awards to brag about. But, at the end of your life, what's more important to have experienced - winning an Olympic medal or nailing a chick who just won an Olympic medal?
You try both and tell me what you think. Me? I'm erring on the side of nailing.

I'll be waiting to hear how it went in Beijing this year. The Chinese fucked up the giant party palace that was British-controlled Hong Kong so I'm guessing they can probably do the same to the Olympic Village.

That gets a big "Boo" from me.